I have been single since I had a disastrous break-up with my ex boyfriend on New Year’s 2007. Then in January of 2010, I had finally decided that I was ready to jump back into a relationship because I seemed to be the only person in my circle of friends that was unattached.
While I was in a gay chat room and I received a private message by this person who, for the purpose of this article I will call Andrew. When he messaged me, I looked at his profile and was impressed by what I was reading. He seemed to have all the traits that I was looking for in a potential long-term relationship. After we were talking for a while we exchanged numbers and he called a very short time later. We seemed to get along well, and I was totally interested.
We began talking and texting each other a lot, but the only draw back was he was on the west coast, supposedly dealing with the recent death of his mother with family. Having lost a parent myself I knew what he was going through and truly felt for his situation. It was great conversation, and I truly enjoyed our talks and whenever I heard from Andrew I got excited, and even had some butterflies. This communication went on for a while and we began to learn more about each other. The one thing that I did not like, is he did not like to be challenged, and he would get a bit aggressive or annoyed.
Probably a bit premature, I began to actually consider the possibility of having a serious relationship with Andrew after only a few weeks. We shared our stories of our past relationship experiences. I felt somehow closer to him because we had been through similar situations. After only a very short period of time I received a text message from him that read simply “I love you.” I was so taken by this, I immediately called my best gal pal and told her what had just occurred. I read he text message again and I decided that “nothing ventured was nothing gained” so I responded with my own “I love you.”
The lines of communication remained open for a while longer and it was nearing the time for him to return home, which was about forty-five minutes from me. I was totally stoked to meet him, as I felt that I had already knew him for much longer than I did.
Then one weekend I was on an overnight trip with a friend out of town and I told him that while I was at a bar I was hit on by a couple of guys, which was the absolute truth, but I turned them down because I was in love with a very special yet mysterious person that I had been carrying on with for the last two months. He seemed pleased. Although we never actually defined our relationship, I just always assumed that we were an item. When I asked him what does he consider himself “single” or “not” he avoided the question. Then I responded by giving him a hypothetical scenario that involved a person hitting on him to determine what his response would be, he told me that he classifies himself as single.
Enraged and severely hurt by this, I hung up the phone and went to bed. The next morning on the way back home with my friend I decided to go on a camping trip with two friends and I would have no cell phone service in the woods. I sent him a text message that said “I will be going out of town and be unavailable for a few days, I would normally inform my boyfriend of this but since I am single I will inform you.” His response was “I told you last night that I was your boyfriend,” I said no you did not. He then blew up at me, and told me that I was insecure and that he never wanted to speak to me again. I was hurt by this statement, and when I tried to call him to talk to him, he reiterated that he never wanted to hear from me again. My response was “how can you say that you love someone and then just toss them aside at the drop of a hat.”
I did not hear from him for a few days, then I received a call from him at 2 a.m. and when I answered there was nothing, so I hung up the phone then he immediately called back, and he said that “I rolled over on his phone and it dialed you.” So I was like whatever, and we talked for a while when I tried to explain how I was hurt by his comment about him considering himself single. He said that no one would ask him out because he has not left his house. I was like whatever and after a few minutes of chatting we hung up.
About ten days later I received a call from him and he informed me he was home and at his brothers house, and that he had been home for a week and had not heard from me. I told him I did not even know you were coming home and I had not heard from him either.
The wound from the break-up was still fresh and I felt stupid for getting feelings for this person that I had only knew via telephone conversations, text messages, and picture e-mails. I felt so stupid, that I wanted a relationship so badly that I completely abandoned all my logic and common sense for this person that I was going to be in a relationship with and possibly start a life. How could I have been so impulsive and completely buy into what this person was telling me? I just wanted so much to have someone in my life to share all those little moments, and have a last call of the day to.
A week after our last call, I received an e-mail that he had sent me a friend request on the social networking site Facebook. As I accepted the request I browsed through his profile and under his relationship status it said ” in a relationship with———.” I just stared at that and thought “WOW,” am I that easy to get over? Did I really mean that little? Was I completely off base about the time we shared? I sent him a text message that said “I hope that you will be happy in your new relationship,” or something to that affect. He quickly responded with “I just started talking that that guy yesterday, and I put it up there to piss you off.” Now I am thinking to myself why would you want to do that?
I have not heard from Andrew for a while now, but I see him online, and each time I see his name online I am immediately put off and for a brief second I catch myself thinking of what might have been and wonder if I instant message him will he answer?
After this experience I wonder can you ever trust what someone says online?
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